“I don’t get it. I think we’re cool.”

17 Feb

Ok. So. My blog twin wrote a post today about how pissed she is about her guy situation. Since I’m a stalker I read it immediately. Since I’m convinced (maybe more than she is) that we are frighteningly similar, it only follows that I can relate in a weird-is-that-my-life-too kind of way.

It has to do with the Tall One. He’s got the same name. And while as far as I know he’s not hung up on some other chick, he certainly doesn’t seem to be hung up on me and this just does not make sense to me.

I am not saying I’m perfect, but I think I’d be a pretty damn good girl to have around on a regular basis. I’m really fun. I drink beer (and like it) and I can watch any sport besides hockey and understand it. I probably even have a team I cheer for (even if I don’t actively follow them each season). I like to laugh. I want you to call me out. Then I can call you out. Actually, I’ll call you out anyway. It’s just more fun when you can dish it back. Also, I can cook, I’m a good kisser (according to more than a few sources), and I like sex.

So, really, I cannot understand why I am constantly finding myself in these weird-bizarre-potentially-awkward-game-playing situations. Honestly, I hate the games but I get that I have to play them at this point. If I don’t, someone please let me know. Then find a cute guy who agrees. Ok great thanks.

Explanations for this shit includes …You’re too smart / You need to find guys of a higher calibur / NYC guys are like this / Mid-20’s guys are like this / All guys are like this / You’re intimidating / You’re too good for them..

But really,what the fuck. Not all guys are like this and I am not too smart/pretty/good/intimidating for every guy out there. (At all!) My friends are constantly in these absurd situations, too. Last year at some point, Twin met this cool guy while we were gorging ourselves on beer and wings on Sunday at the bar watching football (in these pants to top it all off). She looked good. Anyway, they made out, went on a date, and then he texted her telling her they “needed to talk about what was going on.” Uh…

This happened to me around my birthday last September. I met TMC at a bar. Numbers were exchanged, saliva was not. Texts were exchanged for several days. Met up for a drink, made out for a while, no sleepover was had. More texts were exchanged, more meet-ups were planned, but faily. TMC disappeared entirely. Reappeared 2 weeks later with, “Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. I wasn’t sure what was going on with us.” Uh…

Somewhat similarly, one of my other very best friends (the one who made me sign up for match.com) recently met and subsequently hooked up with a really cute guy. She was not wearing those pants but she still looked good. They hooked up a few times, slept together, and then he just…stopped. Still texts back, but has made no effort to make it happen again.

She pointed out today, “I don’t get it. I think we’re cool girls.”

Right. And WE ARE FUCKING COOL GIRLS! Twin told me a story about a girlfriend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend (I swear this is real) who apparently this past weekend freaked out, locked herself in the third-friend’s room crying, accused her boyfriend and the third-friend of being in love, and then demanded to see a picture of…TWIN! They have met approximately never.

How is it that psycho chicks like her are in long-term, committed relationships and all I get is a really cute, really tall guy who replies over 24 hours later to my “Hey what are you up to this week” text with:

“Trying really hard to find a job, that’s about it.”

K. I’m done.


5 Responses to ““I don’t get it. I think we’re cool.””

  1. Beth February 18, 2009 at 12:02 am #

    UHM HI BLOG TWIN!!! I’m so excited that you are here and writing and we are still same.

    I’m readering/rolling you right nowwwwww.

    Alsooooooooo, wtf is right about the guy situation. If I were a guy and I liked all the things guys are supposed to like and I met us, I would be all over that shit. It is truly mind-boggling.

  2. Beth February 18, 2009 at 12:03 am #

    “Trying really hard to find a job, that’s about it.”

    ^uhm, PS, that is the most bashing-head-against-the-wall dumbshit text message i have ever read EVER. jeeeebus.

  3. Dating Without Pants February 18, 2009 at 6:32 pm #

    It’s unfathomable how many retarded guys you and Beth are meeting. I thought I was socially awkward, but it looks like I’m not even close. I would just like to apologize on behalf of all the idiot guys out there that you’ve met and let you know that we all don’t have the mental dating capacity of TMC. It just seems that the dating gods have unfortunately bestowed unto you an incredible quantity of inept guys. I think that if you keep putting yourself into social situations as you’re doing and tinkering the with the match.com, things will even out … especially if you’re as cool as you claim :)

    Oh, and thanks for the comment and the blogroll add!

  4. hijabeng July 19, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    Yes! This is so the problem me and my girlfriends have! And I realize that it’s weird that I’m commenting on posts that are over two years old but I’m reading your whole blog and you’re cool. I’m adding you to my blogroll.


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