Awkward Adventures of Bex

2 Mar

I have a lot of awkward things happen to me. These awkward things are also hilarious and entertaining about 99% of the time. Sometimes, it’s refreshing when my friends have awkward things happen to them and I’m the one doubled over laughing – with them, because all my friends can appreciate the entertainment that comes with awkwardness, and at them, because for once, it’s not me.

I haven’t really introduced more friends lately and I do have more than three, but I need to wait for some inspiration before I delve into what makes my friends so incredible and special. This weekend, therefore, is the perfect way to introduce you to Bex.

Saturday was Bex Day. I got up early, went to the gym, and prepped the sangria (basically rum-soaked-fruit). Getting ready, Bex sent me this text:

“Ah! i think [roommate’s] parents think i’m not here and they are both in the shower together!”

There is really no story surrounding that – it’s pretty straightforward and there are so many things wrong with it I can’t even begin to elaborate on them – but Bex is the only person I know who could ever send me a text like that. Because she’s the only one something like that would happen to!

So, we met up in SoHo around 3 and wandered around in the cold looking for cheap manicures on our way to the museum. We finally found a place after about 30 minutes of somewhat-aimless wandering. She got gray nails and I got navy blue and I’ve never been so in love or obsessed with my nail color. Seriously, it looks awesome. Then we walked a couple blocks to the New Museum where we showed our outdated student IDs and got in for 25% off. The museum was so cool. The exhibit “It is what it is: Conversations about Iraq” was fascinating. It was the kind of thing that makes you think and rethink and leaves you with that feeling that you really got something out of it. The other floors were cool, but super modern and contemporary and one was a strange erotic dance around Rodin’s sculptures and the other was just a still video of a rain forest with high-pitched screeching noise that hurt a lot.

The top floor is this viewing deck/balcony thing with stool-chairs made of this plasticy-cardboard stuff that’s shockingly comfortable. I went over to one and sat down and told Bex to try it. She sat down with me for .2 seconds and got up and demanded we go outside. “But it’s so cold and windy!” I complained and resisted. “C’mon! Just come outside!” Fine.

The second we’re outside, Bex asks if I see “that guy over there.” The weirdish-looking one in the vest? He’s kind of balding? “Guh. He would be wearing a vest.” Clueless, I force Bex to explain.

Painfully reluctant, Bex tells me that last 4th of July, she hooked up with VestMan. The VestMan who was at the museum. Maybe 50 feet away. Inside the glass doors. This dude was small, furry, slightly balding, and wearing a vest. And she hooked up with him. And he was there. I could not stop laughing. The entire scenario was unreal.

We took some pictures outside and then all but sprinted across the viewing deck and into the elevator. We explored some more of the museum. We decided it was time to go. To leave, we had to go down in the elevator. So we pressed down and waited. It came. The doors opened. And of course, VestMan was standing there. I stifled my laughter (it was so hard) and we got in and turned around. Bex smiled awkwardly and isn’t sure if he smiled back. As the doors closed, we got ready to burst into silent peels of laughter. As the doors closed, we realized they were mirrored.

Bex pulled out the giant exhibit map/guide and we hid behind it and shuddered in hysterical-non-so-silent laughter.

It’s a long story to introduce her, but this could only happen to Bex. In her defense, she was under the influence of a lot more than alcohol that night and while her drunk-judgement does not have a stellar track record, she doesn’t always hook up with weird VestMen (she made me write this, but it’s true).

So anyway, I told you in the last post that Bex is my Brooklynite Other Half and it’s so true. We met in France during our semester abroad and over crepes one afternoon discovered not only were we scarily similar, but we were also born in the same hospital. This must mean we are inextricably intertwined which I like. Bex and I say I love you after we talk every time because one day she realized that it’s important that the people she loves know it all the time and she told me that and it made my heart happy. Sometimes I think I should always say it to my friends I love but for some reason it’s hard to do. (I should work on that). But that’s Bex and I love her to death and everything about her (including her incredibly awkward moments) improves my life.


2 Responses to “Awkward Adventures of Bex”

  1. Beth March 3, 2009 at 11:03 pm #

    1) I love gray nail polish AND blue nail polish… win!
    2) Bex sounds like I need her in my life. The 2x awkwardness of the roommates parents AND vestman is just too good to be true. I want her around me just to see what happens.

    And tell her not to feel bad. I hooked up with a BALD, SHORT BODYBUILDER last 4th of July… Whaaaaatttttt. BAD. DRUNKEN. DECISION.

  2. TudorCityGirl March 6, 2009 at 5:04 pm #

    Too funny about Vest-man! You have a GREAT writing style…Glad I found your blog!
    Grand nail salon is great and cheap by the way, downtown!

    Aww…that is so sweet Bex says, “I love you” at the end of conversations. I should get better with that too. It’s too hard for me.
    Bex sounds awesome. I wish I had a friend like her!


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