*This is an old story, but I don’t have new ones right now and I want to remain entertaining for you and this is a good one*
Once upon a time, in mid-September of 2007, I went out with Bex, BoyB, and one of BoyB’s friends who does not yet have a nickname on this blog. It was my 23rdbirthday celebration and we all got absurdly drunk even though I’m pretty sure it was the middle of the week. A couple weeks later was the first Homecoming As An Alum at my college. Frere was a junior there and all the girls were going back so of course I went for the weekend too. I took a Friday off work and drove down with K and as we entered town we stopped at the liquor store to stock up. As a newly 23 year old, having just spent 4 years in the town and 2 going to the one and only liquor store, it did not occur to me that I would be carded. If you’ve read the Awesome Facts About Me, you know that being carded should probably not come as a surprise to me until I’m closer to 30. I walked in with K, grabbed a $9 plastic handle (I mean it was only 4 months after graduation), and strutted up to the cash register. I’m pretty sure I thought I had some kind of I’m an alumni now look on my face. I’m also pretty sure the cashier thought I was 16. I reached in to get my driver’s license and…it was not there. My stomach dropped as I was asked to leave the storeand K forked over her ID and paid. Outside, I frantically called my mom to have her search through my purses at home and all my wallets, to no avail. I flashed back to my night out with Bex and co. and came to the tragic conclusion that I had drunkenly lost my ID. The rest of the weekend consisted of smooth-talking bouncers and signing several forms stating I was over 21.
Back home, I wasted no time in getting a new (this time horizontal! Yay!) driver’s license. I vowed to be more careful.
Fast forward to March 2008. Twin and I arranged a very special, very classy Astoria Pub Crawl, during which we visited only the nicest establishments in Astoria, Queens. We donned sparkly velvet tops, gold lame (pronounced lah-may, not lame, although they were also the latter), and body glitter. We started in the afternoon and made it past 11pm and-get this-I was only carded once! Only one time, the last bar of the night, at my drunkest, did I have to take my 4-month old driver’s license out of my wallet and show it to a bouncer. The next morning, when I looked in my wallet to see if I had managed to salvage any cash, I noticed an empty space. Where my driver’s license should have been. It was gone. Again.
Ok, at this point, I was just stunned. I am (shockingly) not the type to lose things in my drunken (mis)adventures (although I did manage to lose a single flip flop, that’s a different story). It just doesn’t happen that often. So two driver’s licenses within barely more than 3 months? Unheard of.
I moved to Manhattan in January 2008, so by March I couldn’t very well go back home and get another (third) CT license. I was going to get a NY license anyway, so I told myself this was just forcing me to do it sooner than later. Sooner, as it turns out, became early May. In the two month hiatus, I managed to take my passport out to bars with me. Given my ID track record, though, I was a bit paranoid about this. The obvious solution then was to use dental floss and tie my passport to myself. I did this on multiple occasions. Bartenders gave me some weird looks, but I am still, to this day, in possession of my passport.
Fast forward one more time to early May. I finally got my new NY driver’s license. Conveniently, the day it came, I had plans to go out! So I did! And I liked getting carded! Because I had an ID to show! And it wasn’t tied to my pants!
The next day, I wanted to show one of my coworkers my new license. Because I looked sooo cute in the picture. So I went to my wallet to get it out. The familiar dread came over me as I saw that empty space. This cannot be happening AGAIN. I literally tore apart my wallet. Looked through pockets I didn’t even know existed. And finally I find one random somewhat hidden pocket juuuust behind the slot my ID usually slides into. I reach in…
And pull out THREE licences.
And that’s how I discovered where Drunk Sara stashes her IDs.