“Thomas Pink added you as a friend on Facebook…”

14 Mar

This is the email I received yesterday morning. It’s funny for a vareity of reasons, but first and foremost: this guy’s name is Thomas Pink. I almost feel badly about writing this and using his real name…but I just can’t make an appropriate and equally funny nickname for him. Also, it’s a clothing store so if any weird stalkers try to find him, they’ll probably just find shirts with his name on them.

Anyway, even if I did not find his name somewhat hilarious, I also have no idea who this person is. So of course I did some digging and found we had no mutual friends on Facebook and I also could not remember ever having seen anyone who even looks remotely like him in my life. I looked closer and realized he went to Twin’s college (connection!) and graduated in…1999. When I was 14. And in 8th grade. Connection broken. I don’t accept friend requests from totally and utterly random people; I find them a bit creepy. How did Thomas Pink even find my name? What made him request my virtual friendship? My picture’s not even a hot one – I was wearing a shiny green mardi gras mask with sunglasses over it. (I guess ‘hot’ is all relative…hehe).

Twin then suggested that perhaps–just maybe–this 32 year old man was planning to attend the alumni pub crawl we are both going on today (yes, sometimes I register as an ’07 alum of Twin’s college even though we definitely did not attend the same school, it’s fine). So I stalk to 106+ people who have rsvp’ed yes to the event on Facebook. A few pages in and I see it…Thomas Pink. Alright then…that solves how he found me…but still…my networks are NYC, my company, and my school ’07 which is not Twin’s school. Twin did not get a friend request.

So I sent him a message. And he messaged me back. And here’s how it went. Subject line: Friend Request.

Me to Thomas Pink: “I don’t mean to be rude – and I apologize if we’ve met – but your name doesn’t look familiar. Do we know each other?”

Thomas Pink to me:“i went to [Twin’s college] and am networking…i apologize if you think that’s weird.”

[Sidenote:Yes, that is weird. Also, I didn’t go to [Twin’s college], so that statement really means nothing to me.]

Me to Thomas Pink:“Haha no it’s fine – I always ask about friend requests if I don’t know the person or if we have no friends in common…Also, I didn’t go to [Twin’s college] (I’m just friends with a lot of people who did), but I see you’ll be on the pub crawl tomorrow so maybe we will run into each other!”

Thomas Pink to me:“oh wow. my apologies then but thats interesting and i think you are smart to do that. and thats cool that you will be there. i usually have a lot of fun because it is always a great group of educated bu fun people. have a great weekend in case we dont meet.”

Twin and I basically died at this last message. I love his commentary on “educated but fun” people, as though normally the two qualities are mutually exclusive. Also, “in case we don’t meet”? You better believe we’ll be screaming his name at every bar trying to find this dude.

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