Manhattan is a tiny, tiny island.

1 Apr

So last night I had dinner at a friend’s apartment. She and her fiance live 15 blocks down from me, which is great because then I can just walk home after. We ate delicious food and then played Rock Band until 11:30. Then I was tired and it was time to go home. Twin was with me (obviously, when is she not?) and planning to take a cab to her borough apartment. I almost took a cab the 15 blocks, but then they were all going downtown and I needed to go uptown so I just started walking.

I live on the upper east side and there are a lot of puppies on the upper east side. And I love puppies a lot. So of course, whenever I’m walking around in my neighborhood, I focus on the puppies passing me by. Tiny ones, old ones, fluffy ones, ones that look like their owners…you get the idea. There are just so many!

So I’m walking up York Avenue and I’m about 5 blocks into my 15-block walk (if you’re struggling with this math, this means I’m about 10 blocks from my apartment) when I see an especially cute puppy. I think it was a bulldog puppy. You know the kind with paws that turn inward and insane under-bites? Yeah. I saw one of those coming toward me.

Obviously the puppy was on leash, but why would I care about that? Owners have nothing on their puppies. So the puppy gets closer and so does the guy walking it. I need to switch to total stream-of-consciousness to really get you in the moment.

The guy…walking the puppy…is really tall. Looks slightly familiar. I know him. I don’t know him. Where am I? I could … no, I … wait. Oh. My. God. I made out with him.

Oh yeah. It was Tall One (since renamed TBA for Ten Blocks Away). Walking his apparently new puppy down the street. Toward me.

I have not communicated with TBA in any way since his weak-lame-ass text to me telling me he was trying ‘really hard to find a job and that’s it’ over a month ago. I shoved his giant sweats and t-shirt far under my bed, where they have been (hopefully) accumulating all the dust in my room.

As we awkwardly passed each other on the street (which was suddenly void of any other human being OR puppy!), I very briefly considered saying hi. Or acting surprised and too cool for him. He must have seen me although I have no idea if he saw ME or just that a person was walking past him. It’s been a while, it was dark…I don’t really care.

I also briefly considered sending him a text message (remember, I don’t delete – I add the Z) saying anything from “Nice to see you just now” to “Follow me if you want your sweats back.”

Clearly I just texted Twin frantically as I realized how tiny Manhattan is and just how dangerous it is to hookup with guys who live within a 10 block radius of you.

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