“If you’re going to talk about someone, you might want to try not looking at them.”

4 May

So I went to Harrisburg, PA this weekend to visit Mama Bird and it was an absolute blast. So much happened in the 48 hours I was down there that I am anticipating a minimum of two posts. Possibly even three, which I’m sure would just make Mama Bird beyond excited and giddy. Not to mention, she’ll have tons to read about in her office – which I got to see!

I’m going to start chronologically and try to work my way through the weekend that way, so to start off: Friday!

My train arrived in HBG at 10:00 sharp and Mama Bird was outside the station waiting. We sped back to her (awesome!) apartment where she immediately poured strong drinks and I immediately dumped the entire contents of my duffel bag in the middle of her bedroom floor. We both got ready and sucked down drinks in record time. Our friend M came over with cranberry juice and we made more drinks and danced around to music for approximately 12 minutes. Then we took shots, called a cab, and hit up downtown.

First we met up briefly with a friend from college who I cannot possibly begin to nickname. She has not exactly changed since graduation two years ago…I guess you could say certain traits have just blossomed. (Case in point: After buying us shots, she suggested we go to a club to dance on the bar. After suggesting this, she demonstrated how she would like to dance on the bar by nearly taking off her shirt.). I’m not saying I’m above dancing on bars (or even making out with bartenders while on said bars), but I like to limit such debaucherous behavior for, say, my birthday parties. Hell, we all know I cause enough debauchery on the floor of the bar on any other night.

Anyway, we left and headed to this great two-floor Irish pub-type place. Downstairs is the DJ, playing top 40 hits like Akon and Britney and facilitating a great dance party. Upstairs is the live band, playing classic hits like Journey and Bon Jovi and facilitating an equally great dance party … But I jumped ahead. On the way to this bar, Mama Bird spotted her friend TooFast (so named because of the time he drank too fast and tried to grope B). TooFast was out with his roommate (we’ll call him Glasses) and some friends. One guy – I’m naming him HBGS because he is currently in my phone as HBG S[rest-of-his-name] – zeroed in on me and said, “Are you trying to steal my boys here?” I just looked back, somewhat confused, mostly amused, and said, “Um…are you feeling a bit possessive?” He looked at me, looked at the ground, turned around, came back, and said, “Yeah, sorry. That was probably the gayest thing I could have said.” Uh yeah. I really have nothing to say to you right now.

The entire group of us moved on to the Irish-pub-type place and HBGS proceeded to follow me around all night like a little puppy. He just couldn’t get enough of my witty-but-sometimes-bitchy retorts to literally everything he said to me. For example, I made some comment about this guy in mostly plaid trying to chat up Mama Bird. HBGS took this as a chance to ask me what I thought about other guys’ clothes in the bar, eventually leading to his. He was wearing a black t-shirt. So when he asked me what I thought of guys in black t-shirts, obviously the only thing to say was, “Well, it’s hot if you’re trying to look like a ninja.”

Um, first: that doesn’t even make sense. I could have done way better had I not already consumed countless shots and Miller Lites. Second: he loved it. Like, dude – I’m not being nice to you and I’m also making no sense. This is not attractive. But it was! He was hooked, which Mama Bird and I both found to be hilarious, leading us to lean in and talk about him while he was sitting next to me. At one point (or maybe all of the points), he became aware of the fact that he was the topic of our conversation and informed Mama Bird that, perhaps, if she was “going to talk about someone, maybe you shouldn’t look at them.” Oops.

HBGS and I continued our bantering flirtation while Glasses continued his pursuit of Mama Bird. Talk about hooked – this kid was enamoredwith her. And she was so not feeling it. And HBGS even picked up on it and announced to me that it would never happen with them. I pushed him for a reason, which he gave simply as “Guys like him don’t get girls who look like her.” HBGS, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

(HBGS was so full of great quotes that night I almost made an entire post about them. But I think you’ve gotten the point.)

Since bars everywhere but NYC close at 2am, the night came to an end at about 1:45 or so. Mama Bird avoided Glasses by instructing HBGS to take my phone number if he ever wanted to see me again. He obeyed (because who doesn’t want to see me again?) and I told him if he texted me Saturday night, he might be lucky enough to meet up with me (read: make out with me). He replied that he would started texting me right then.

The rest of the night is a blur, mostly because Mama Bird and I went back and made ourselves more drinks(why?) and had a two-person dance party and sing-along (to such classics as Carrie Underwood and old school Britney Spears). I mean we’re talking ballads and serenading here, people. The period of 2am to 4am also included a photoshoot of me on Mama Bird’s stairwell (in which I am sopping wet, which suggests it was pouring rain when we got home, although neither of us remember that being the case), the discovery of my incredibly long torso and short legs (demonstrated when I attempted to wear Mama Bird’s pajamas and discovered the top left the majority of my stomach exposed), many, many drunk texts between HBGS and me – including these winners:

[HBGS Question: What are you doing?]

Sara’s Text: Drinking and a dance party. It is unclear why you are not here.

[HBGS Question:Hopefully I’ll be around tmw night. If not I’d liked to take you out next week.]

Sara’s Text:Nope. Tmw night. Come meet me. :) Otherwise, I live in nyc.

With that, Friday night ends. But Saturday night comes with visuals.


One Response to ““If you’re going to talk about someone, you might want to try not looking at them.””

  1. Mama Bird May 5, 2009 at 7:49 am #

    Ahhhhh. I don’t think I can top that weekend ever. You will have to come back immediately if not sooner so we can repeat. Miss you tons already!!!

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