California, here we come

31 Dec

Oh. My. God.

So much has happened in the last 12 days.

The day after I posted this, Cali Boy called me. I was not expecting a phone call – then, or ever really – so seeing [Cali Boy] pop up on my caller ID was a bit more than nerve racking. But then we talked for two hours. I don’t talk to anyone on the phone for two hours. Except apparently Cali Boy.

So that happened. And then I had a really vivid and weird dream, basically about Cali Boy and my very mixed feelings about the entire situation. Then two days after our phone conversation, Travelzoo sent me a Newsflash email highlighting flights on between San Francisco and NYC for $100 each way. So I forwarded the deal, which ran until December 29, to Cali Boy. He agreed it was a great deal but also said paying rent is a top priority right now. Alright, that’s fair. I guess the holiday season is typically one where bank accounts suffer…and flying across the country is expensive and intense and kind of crazy.

Then Cali Boy called again last Sunday, on his way home from his parents’ place. We talked again for an hour – and I ended the call because it was 11pm EST and I was tired and had to wake up early to commute into NYC for work on Monday. And then on Monday and Tuesday I started questioning everything all over again. I worked from home on Tuesday, which meant I was alone in my apartment with only my thoughts all. day. long. And R1 made a very casual comment about how she doesn’t think I’m nuts for talking to him because it’s “not like we’re having any kind of relationship.” True, and fair, but that kind of stuck with me. So when I was having dinner with Bex I was questioning things even more. It’s been two solid months of emails and texts and now very lengthy phone calls…and for what? I told Bex I was worried that maybe I had turned into just a friend across the country. I realize that sounds kind of stupid, but I have a really hard time believing a guy I like also likes me and I have an even harder time believing that he still likes me while I am 3,000 miles away.

Anyway, the more we chatted, the more certain Bex became that I need to go out there. It was after 9pm when she finally got me to agree – now is the time to take risks and do crazy things. And if it’s this scary now, then it’s gonna be really fucking scary when I’m 40. So I texted Cali Boy at 10:30 and said, “Sooo that flight deal ends tonight at midnight. Want to give me the next best weekend to come to SF?” I half expected/hoped he wouldn’t reply in time. But he did, right away, and said any weekend except February 7.

So I called Twin (because my laptop was at home because I am spacey) and she looked up flights and I BOOKED ONE.

Yep. Thirty minutes before the deal ended, I booked a flight to San Francisco. I leave in 3 weeks and stay for 3 full days and nights. And I am bursting at the seams with excitement.

This weirdly (though not surprisingly) reminds me a bit of my Blog Twin’s Experience earlier this year…not the specifics, of course, Cali Boy is not a blogger and we didn’t meet online. However, the “everything and nothing” conversations, the butterflies, the insanity and unexpectedness of it all…the annoying bi-coastal nature of it all. None of my friends here know what I am feeling, but Blog Twin replied to my tweet about my impulsive decision and it’s a huge relief to know someone can relate to what’s going on in my head.

And with that, I will say: Happy 2010!

One Response to “California, here we come”


  1. Having Doubts, Being Scared, and Moving Forward Anyway « Guide to Being Awesome - April 10, 2012

    […] a full-immersion language program in France, even though I was “only” a French minor. I flew to California to visit a boy I’d met just one weekend, just to see what could happen. I went to London on […]

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