I Still Hate Online Dating…But I Keep Doing It.

11 Apr

Alright, taking a short break from my emotional vomit and Big Life Revelations I’ve been having and giving you something a bit more lighthearted. And by a bit more I mean WAY MORE because I’ve been discussing divorce and rejection and really depressing shit and this is actually pretty hilarious. Because even though I might be totally emotionally fucked up, I still manage to have fun on a daily basis and I keep managing to get myself into ridiculous situations.

Ok, so really, I have a problem. I hate online dating. I really, really do. I swear! But I can’t not do it and I have no idea why! Why? Someone tell me, please. None of it has ever been successful for me. Not even just not-successful. Much of it has been a huge and utter failure. Probably great blog material, but is this really what my life has come to? Dating ridiculous guys I meet online to entertain you people? …Actually I’d be ok with that.

Anyway. The last date, Finance Guy from eHarm, lasted six hours. Like I told you, I really expected to hear from him. I mean, what guy prolongs a Sunday night date  for six hours if he’s legitimately not interested? Apparently, this one. Seriously. Not a word! I mean, I’m kind of like whatever, it’s his loss, and definitely why he’s still single! Maybe he’s confused. Either way, I wasn’t smitten enough to make any move on my own, so clearly that says something. Free eHarm weekend failed in the love department, but I got a really fancy dinner, 2 glasses of wine, and 3 beers out of it. So it really is literally his loss. Sucks for Finance Guy.

So maybe you’d think that after I tried that and failed and after all my rants about how much Match.com sucks, just maybe you’d think I’d resign myself to meeting people IN REAL LIFE? Ha! If you have learned anything about me through this blog, you must know I am far from being that logical. No, no. I’ll just try a new site.

Enter HowAboutWe.com. I read about this first on my Internet Bible, TheFrisky.com. The girls at The Frisky called HowAboutWe.com a non-lame dating site, which in my opinion says a lot because those chicks seem to date online with more fervor than I do. Anyway, the article told me that if I like online dating (I still maintain I don’t, though my actions clearly state otherwise), but am “sick of winks and unbearably lame profiles” (YES! YES!), I should check this out. So I did. Because I do anything The Frisky tells me to do. I mean…anyway. The site is like basically brand new and apparently just launched a couple weeks ago and is still in beta (tech-speak for testing) so everything’s still free and they are still figuring out the logistics of it.

So I made a profile and discovered it was awesome because the entire premise of the site is to connect online and then get into REAL LIFE as soon as fucking possible. Um, awesome. So to initiate communication, you either send a message or click “I’m Intrigued.” I’ve clicked the intrigued button three times now and gotten messages back from each guy. I replied to one and he never answered, so I moved on. One guy, we’ll call him The Almost Teacher, asked me for my number on Sunday, I gave it to him, and he called on Tuesday. I missed the call, called back Wednesday, and we set up a date to grab a beer after work on Tuesday. I discovered several dealbreakers during out eight-minute phone conversation, such as he is 26 and still lives at home, but I decided to take some risks and stop being so bitchy and just go.

The third guy I was intrigued by sent me a message also and so that has gone back and forth a couple times and I expect I will likely have a date with him next weekend. It’s pretty fun and much more laid back than Match.com or eHarm and I like that it encourages you to meet because really what I hate about online dating is that it’s so contrived and virtual. And obviously it gives me more absurd and awkward stories to share here and offset my angsty posts about my feelings. Which is the point of everything I do.

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9 Responses to “I Still Hate Online Dating…But I Keep Doing It.”

  1. Anon April 16, 2010 at 10:31 am #

    You seem nice and pretty…not sure why you should settle for online dating…

  2. Brian June 18, 2010 at 5:41 pm #

    Hey. I just found this post. It’s Brian from HowAboutWe. Hope your experience is going well. Let us know. Nice blog post.

  3. monique's online dating experience August 9, 2010 at 9:17 pm #

    I totally relate to you. We should meet for coffee if you live in NYC. I have lived the Sex & The City experience though online dating. One freak after another. I started a blog this past week about it because I am so fed up. I have to keep working on it. My last experience was with a multi-millionaire who owns a design agency in Williamsburg. Offered me the world: Trip to France, Cairo, got me an iPad…all within 1 damn month. Then one night he blows me off at a bbq he threw and didn’t say hi or talk to me all night. Then when the guests left he talked about himself all night. He kinda “likes” himself. I had to hear constantly how he graduated at the tp of his class from U-Penn. Get over yourself! So I confronted him on his actions through an honest email. Never heard from him again. Let me add that he’s sleeping in the guest suite of his office because his fiance dumped him 6 month prior and he doesn’t want to move into the apartment they got together. Yes, the guy is clearly messed up! Only online would you meet a guy like this. I am happy I got an iPad out of it but the kind words he said to me still hurt. I had a new online date yesterday. Nice guy but made me pay for my $10 burger. You can’t win. hahaha!

  4. studentdriver September 28, 2010 at 11:52 am #

    Too funny. Yes, I too have dated some trolls, and I blog about it. CHeck out my blog, I think you will be entertained. Start in December though… going in order makes more sense, as there are some reflections back that will be too confusing if you start in the present.

    I’ll follow both your blog and Monique’s now. :) Good luck out there.

    Student Driver
    http://www.learningtodrivestick.com

  5. Harry February 1, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

    I’m really excited about howaboutwe.com also. Very nice post. Seems like you stopped posting. Keep it up, don’t give up!

  6. jane June 8, 2011 at 12:31 am #

    Love your blog.

  7. chris June 23, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

    Don’t give up dating keep going. one day you will find that special person. You have to dig through loads of rocks before you can find one gem

  8. Ed December 20, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

    I think you cannot stop online dating because you love the attention. That’s why most girls do it. If you’re not butt ugly (and even if you are), you will be showered with attention. It’s a rush when you see multiple messages in your inbox, right?

    As far as Mr. Finance, it isn’t his loss. He changed his mind. Guys (as well as girls) do it. If he thought he would have a sense of loss, he would have called you the next day.

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