The Two Step, Three Prong Dating Method

7 Jul

I’ve recently admitted to myself that I want a relationship. Not one that will culminate in marriage or living together or even one that will last years, but one that is decidedly not-casual. A real, official relationship. A Big R. This was difficult to admit to myself, since that means I have to make myself vulnerable and probably get hurt – a lot and/or badly – but I’ve finally reached the point where that risk is preferable to limiting myself to casual encounters or little, tiny r’s.

The next move after internally acknowledging this was to admit it to my friends. Last week’s wine night with Twin and C was the perfect time to do so – and they, as always, were way ahead of me. As in, they had already guessed that’s where I was. Proactive friends that they are, they each launched into various solutions and suggestions on how to go about making a Big R fall into place.

Now, I have zero interest in being a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. I find the very concept incredibly ridiculous and that is also why I have been single for so long (aside from not admitting that a Big R is actually what I want). However, I’ve also been back in the states for nearly three months and I have not met one gent – casually or otherwise. So, C introduced what we have dubbed the Two Step, Three Prong Dating Method.

I can outline the two steps for you quite easily (they are actually the same as two of the prongs), but that third prong is totally elusive. None of us has any clue what it could possibly be – and we made the system. Maybe it’s the free gin and tonic we got the night we came up with this, or maybe it’s the 17 billion free glasses of wine we guzzled.

Step One of the Two Step, Three Prong Dating Method (2S3PDM) is to explore any Unexplored Situations. These are those situations where you liked a guy but it was bad timing, or vice versa, or you kind of lost touch but for no clear reason. As C explained, you have to make sure all your Unexplored Situations have no potential for anything. It’s like the low-hanging fruit of the dating pool. Or dating tree, I guess. Whatever, I couldn’t think of any. Moving on.

Step Two is to Actively Date. We decided there are two ways to do this: go online and get wingwomen. Well, Twin and C agreed to be the best wingwomen ever and not only sing my praises to attractive gents wherever we go, but to also point out gents they think I might like but haven’t yet noticed. While this is potentially very helpful and could lead to an adorable how-we-met-story, it’s not consistently reliable. Which brings me to the inevitable online dating. C suggested this time around I cast a very large net and proceed to be extremely picky. I can do picky, so this is easy. To cast the very large net, I joined OkCupid here in NYC.

My profile’s been up for one full week at midnight tonight and I already have about 37 million ridiculous stories about it. Ok, fine, that’s a lie, I have two stories and neither of them involve real dates, but still. I’m staying positive, although the past week does not bode well for this bout of online dating. As always, though, at the very least these adventures will provide you with some very entertaining stories.

(Hint: I have an online dating site stalker.)

Also, just for reference, here’s my main profile picture (no I’m not posting my username.):

OkCupid told me this was my "Best Face" ...


One Response to “The Two Step, Three Prong Dating Method”


  1. Chronicles of the Unimpressive Gents « Guide to Being Awesome - August 25, 2011

    […] first date. In this round of “Sara Tries to Date Successfully,” I’m using the Two Step Three Prong Dating Method to a not-so-successful […]

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