Chronicles of the Unimpressive Gents: The Lazy Dude, Part I

25 Aug

This particular Unimpressive Gent Chronicle is completely out of order – in fact, this gent was my first OkCupid date of this round of online dating – but I’ve only recently given him the official allocation into the UG Pile. His Chronicle is split into two parts because I just have too much commentary to consolidate it into one and also it was two dates, so it just makes sense.

He initiated contact over the OkCupid IM system, which I disabled soon after. It was late-ish one night and he suggested we switch to g-chat. (I know, I know, rookie mistake.) As we exchanged stories about ourselves – mine about my outrageous Halloween costumes, his about naming his first Christmas tree “Goldstein” – I decided this gent must be hilarious. His pictures were questionable, but then again, so many are. He g-chatted me again the next day and after an appropriate amount of small talk, asked me out on a date. After some discussion, we decided to meet on a Wednesday night around 7pm at a pub about halfway between our two apartments.

Walking into our first date, he was cuter than I expected. But remember – I didn’t expect much here, so that wasn’t hard. He was tall-ish, had dark hair speckled with gray (despite being just 26), and was not even remotely my type. We ordered burgers and beers and shared some fries and, as I had hoped, he was funny! I’d had a beer pre-date with my stepsister, though, so after my second beer I was pretty tipsy. Here’s a lesson I’ve learned time and time again and yet cannot seem to remember: Everyone’s a lot funnier when I’m tipsy.

Anyway, we proceeded to another bar where we each had a couple more beers. Conversation continued flowing, while the Irish bartenders gave me knowing grins. This is not the first first-date I’ve taken to this particular bar. We decided to call it a night, at which point he offered to walk me home.  Taken aback and trying to shake my initial instinct to cut and run so he wouldn’t know where I lived (what, I’m a city kid), I accepted. At which point he reached for my hand. To hold.

Now, this gesture on paper seems cute and romantic and sweet (at least, to me it does). In reality, I found this to be way. too. much. Like he was trying too hard. We’d only met a few hours before. Like I didn’t want him touching me quite yet. (Ok – foreshadowing – maybe I just wasn’t that into him?!)

Does this directly contrast with however many one-night-stands I’ve had? Yes. Do I have crazy double standards for gents regarding a one-night-stand and for gents who want to date me? Yes, yes I do.

Regardless of my crazy double standards, I let him hold my hand and walk me home and even kiss me goodnight in front of my apartment. Then he asked to see me again the next week.

On paper, it was such a great first date. And in real life, when I recounted it to my friends the next day, it still seemed to be such a great first date. Of course, though, there’s a reason this gent’s been relegated to the Unimpressive Pile of Gents.

(To be continued…)


One Response to “Chronicles of the Unimpressive Gents: The Lazy Dude, Part I”


  1. Chronicles of the Unimpressive Gents: The Lazy Dude, Part II « Guide to Being Awesome - August 31, 2011

    […] as I explained in Part I, this particular Unimpressive Gent didn’t start out as such. In fact, it was so clear he was […]

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