Archive | 11:00 am

The Cleanse Aftermath, or Everything Has Cheese

14 Feb

So, after I spent three days eating no food and subsisting on crazy raw natural juices and doing yoga in the morning (seriously, who am I?), I had to start eating again. For various valid and totally psychotic reasons, I actually didn’t really want to start eating again, but I knew I had to.

Friday was a little rough, though. Work was crazy and I wasn’t really hungry, so I didn’t start eating till after 1pm. When I did start eating, it was a light salad, but the roof of my mouth got so irritated it became too painful to swallow. I ate the avocado and nothing else until evening. At that point, I could manage really small bites of a delicious homemade salad and it felt really good to eat something chewable and healthy.

Saturday I got up feeling good once again (yay, lasting effects!) and went to the gym. I had an egg and toast and a banana and then went to Brooklyn to Skype with some Amazonian tea farmers. As you do.

I made some mistakes Saturday evening though, as I became starving and went to a party and ate crackers and crab dip and shrimp cocktail and some French fries. Oh, and birthday cake. And wine. TALK ABOUT NAUSEA!

Regrets. I should have known better, though.

A few important things of note:

Eating smaller meals more frequently throughout the day is definitely something I’m going to be focusing on! I think that will curb my snacking urges and keep me full longer.

Did I mention I lost seven pounds on this thing? Seven. Pounds. I obviously don’t expect it all to stay off, but wow! What an encouraging way to kickstart this get-healthy-lose-weight goal I’ve got!

My tastebuds are super sensitive now. I’ve always been a good “taster,” but now everything is that much more intense. For example, I ate an olive on Friday night and almost cried at how salty it was.

Speaking of salt, I’m going to be watching my sodium intake much more carefully now. I’m pretty sure that was a strong contributing factor to feeling like such a dead heavy slug and I’d like to avoid going back to that.

Speaking of that dead heavy slug, I have also made the heartbreaking decision to stay away from milk-products altogether. I’ve been lactose intolerant to varying degrees for the past seven years or so, but sneaking in some cheese has never affected me too much. Or so I thought. Going the past week with absolutely no dairy has made a world of difference.

Speaking of cheese, IT’S IN EVERYTHING I WANT TO EAT. This is why I had to sneak cheese all these years despite knowing my body doesn’t like digesting it! Seriously, everywhere I look, it’s gruyere-this, cheddar-that, swiss-this, pepperjack-that. Screw you, cheese! I love you but now I hate you for taunting me with your gooey deliciousness.

In conclusion, I’m sad about the cheese. Really sad. Everyone have some extra cheese today for me.

In final conclusion, this cleanse was awesome for me overall, if not tragic for my cheese consumption.

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