Every night for the past three months, I’ve gone to sleep listening to a yelling cat. This thing yells and yells outside my window for hours. Just like this. I swear.
I call him The Dying Cat, but clearly he’s not dying since he’s been yelling about who knows what for months on end.
At first, I was nervous about the cat. What if he really was a dying cat? I mean, like, what if there was this starving stray cat yelling outside my window? I’m not nervous about the cat coming in my room – I’m on the fourth floor and I know cat’s can’t jump that high. I’m concerned the cat will die and I’ll be all the way up here listening to it yell itself to death.
You know how I feel about dirty mice dying in my bedroom; can you imagine the trauma I’d suffer if this poor cat was just starving and yelling to death outside? I’d probably enter some kind of catatonic state of horror. Or maybe I’d take up yelling just like the cat did. (Like it does. Since it’s not dead.)
But anyway, the cat’s totally not dying. He’s just angry about something. Or maybe he just has a lot to say?
Here’s the other thing. I’ve never seen The Dying Cat. He’s like this mysterious dying cat ghost, except ghosts are already dead and this cat’s probably not even sick.
Also you can’t see outside in the dark when the lights are on inside. So maybe that has something to do with it, too.
My main point here is that lately there have been a lot of dying animals around me. I mean, maybe I’m exaggerating since there’s really just been one dead animal in my vicinity in my entire life, excluding roadkill, but who counts the roadkill they see? Do people do that?
I’m sorry, what was I talking about? Right. The Dying Cat outside my window.
What I’d really like to know is this: If this cat isn’t just angry, but if he’s already dead and he’s also angry, then what did I do to deserve being haunted by an Angry Dying Cat Ghost?